A Boy and His Binky

I feel like I'm failing as a mother. Why? Because I have yet to break Sam of his binky habit. That boy LOVES his binky. If it were up to him, he'd have it plugged into his mouth 24 hours a day. Over the past year, we've made a few attempts at weaning him off the binky by trying to make it a bedtime-only privilege. However, we have failed to be diligent in the matter and over time, the binky-use would start to sneak back into Sam's waking hours. Now, at the age of 3, Sam is as attached to his binky as ever.

Because we're starting to feel a bit sheepish and ashamed about the situation as parents, Chris and I decided recently that the binky that Sam has now would be his last binky and that we would not buy another when it either got eaten by Jack* or got shredded from Sam chewing on it. I'm embarrassed to admit though that I'm wavering on this issue. Last night while Chris was tucking Sam in, he managed to chew a whole into his last binky. Sam turned to Chris and announced that we'd need to buy a new binky. Chris then reminded Sam that we'd all decided that we wouldn't be buying any more binkys, this was the last one. Upon hearing this, Sam began to sob like his heart had broken. By the time I went in his room, after about 2 minutes of crying, he was gulping for air and shuddering, a devastated mess of a boy.

My heart is not made of stone people! How can I look at him and tell him that he's stuck, no more binkys? I don't know what to do. The hole in the binky is only going to get worse, so this issue is not going to go away. Do we just stick to our guns and deal with feeling like big meanies? Buy one last binky and tell him it is strictly for bedtime, no exceptions? I don't know...

What I do know is that I am in no hurry to try to get Fiona to use a binky, because I do NOT want to go through this again! Of course, she's more content with slurping on her fist, so we're probably set in that regard.

I did have one brainstorm in regards to the binky issue, and one that I thought might help us with another "big boy" issue we're struggling with: the potty. Sam has zero interest in using the potty. I'm trying to be patient and accept that he'll use it when he's ready, but I'm starting to be anxious about preschool. He has to be toilet-trained to enter preschool, and we're hoping too sending him starting this fall. So... as he sobbed last night I tried to bargain with him:

Liz: Sam, how about this, we'll buy a new binky for you, but the deal is, you have to start trying to pee on the potty like a big boy.

Sam: [crying]

Liz: What do you think, can you show me you're a big boy and use the potty? If you can do that, then maybe you can keep the binky a little longer.

Sam: [more crying]

Liz: Sam?

Sam: [muffled] Nooo....

And yes, I know, bargaining with a 3-year-old isn't wise, but whatever, it was worth a shot.

I still don't know what to do, but I'm trying to remain optimistic that he'll eventually come around on at least one of the issues. At this point though, I'm worried I'm going to send him off to college wearing a diaper and chomping on a binky.

*Jack has a thing for binkys. That dog loves nothing more than to chew the silicone sucking piece off the binky before using the plastic bits as a chew toy. I estimate that we have lost at least $50 in binkys to that dog since Sam was born, and the total may actually be closer to $100. Fiona is only 6 weeks old and has barely used a binky, but Jack has still managed to eat 4 of hers already.